i had a really great day today until i got home and logged on to FFXI. now.. you would think.. that since its ohh.. i dunno... a GAME.. it would be a fun thing to do. but when you log in, and immediately get kicked out of your linkshell chat group, its like taking a nice relaxing lounge and suddenly getting punched in the gut by someone you trusted.

since i couldnt get into the shell to ask what the deal was, i wrote a post on their website/forum. considering how upset i was, i think it was actually rather tame. unsuprisingly, the post was deleted within an hour.

i'm not asking for sympathy, and none of you even have to read this... i just... ...i ...i need my words to be posted somewhere ... where they can't be just wiped away at someone else's discretion...


( initial post )

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( follow-up post )

thank you to everyone who commented on my last post and/or spoke to me in regards to it's topic. throughout all of today i kept flipping into this really depressed mood, not quite knowing what to do with myself. i felt drained, and when i saw myself in the mirror i actually looked hollow. it was scary.

coming home and seeing everyone's support has really helped me to remember that as much as this has sucked, it's you guys who are important.
it's you who i know will be there for me.
it's you who i know i want to be there for.
it's you all who i love.
it's you all who are worth shedding tears over when times are hard.

the rest of it is garbage, and i'm not going to waste my time and energy being upset over something that doesn't really matter anyway.


you're all such great friends.

thank you.